A Letter to Dad

The following is a letter that I wrote to my dad. I thought it would help remind what my big "Why" is in doing what I do and creating this fitness and healthy community for plus size women. Let me know what you think by commenting below. What's your big "Why"? I'd love to hear from you.

Dear Dad,

Guess What? I’m a certified personal trainer; living in New York! Can you believe it?!

It seemed like a lifetime of struggling with my weight, growing up and feeling left out because I was fat. Anything that called attention to my body, negative or positive, has always been difficult.

Going through this process, this journey, made me face this weight issue. I could no longer hide.

My journey started when I hired a female personal trainer when I came to New York. I was not thrilled about my body and I felt I needed to do something about it.

She showed me a new world. She seemed so confident in her body. She was physical and loved herself. While making a conscious effort to follow her workout regimen I saw my body transform.

My young dad kneeling down looking dapper

I felt alive and healthy. You could see my face glow.

I also surrounded myself with people who supported and encouraged me throughout the process. I remember you reminding me throughout my growing years that old saying, “If you don’t want to get yourself muddy, don’t hang around mud puddles.”

I followed your advice.

I sought out a network of positive friends and colleagues going through their own fitness and health paths. I could always learn from their challenges and success. I never felt alone.

Not only did I transform physically but something deeper occurred. The strength and light of my spirit changed. It grew and burned bright.

The desires for me have also changed.

I want to reach higher. I want to achieve more because I now know that I deserve it and am capable of doing so.

I’m aware of my worth and power.

I finally recognize this power that you’ve always reminded me I had, Dad.

Through this journey I was given so much more than I thought I’d ever imagine receiving. I was given a gift of knowing, of understanding.

I understand not only how profoundly I’m able to change my life but I’ve discovered I’m able to and will affect many individuals on deeper levels in their lives through my journey, through my experience.

To truly know is to experience. I finally know my power and am claiming it right here, right now as I write to you, Dad.

I am your butterfly.

I understand what you meant by being your butterfly. You saw that potential in me for great transformation.

Remember the day when you were leaving?

In the hospital, seeing you. I knew you were going to leave me.

It was a lifetime of struggle for you — fighting obesity, heart problems, diabetes, high blood pressure.

In the final moments of saying goodbye to you I had no idea that that moment could give me a new life, could encourage me to give something different to myself than what you had.

In those final moments you gave me an opportunity for a new life and I promise I will give others the opportunity for theirs through your undying spirit.

Your Daughter…Your Butterfly,

Love Always,
Diane.

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